An Ex-Expat’s blog

Wife's supervisor moved today's work time start up from 06:00 to 05:00.  wife complained about it and yes, it sucks because it was a last minute thing and  it means we both have to get up that much earlier (me especially), but I told her she should look at it in that her supervisor may look upon her more than the other people in the department as someone who 間に合う's. 

Anyway got up at 03:30 made her her breakfast, and as I usually do on Friday morning's, print out her schedule for the coming week and put it beside her food.  She already knows she has this Sunday off and the rest of the schedule is off on Monday, then a straight 5-day 06:00 to 14:30 from Tuesday to Saturday and off again on Sunday.

Now Sunday is time and a half, regardless and for that reason, many actually prefer to work on that day.  The first thing she zeros in on is 'Why do I have 2 Sunday's in a row off?'  'I'm full-time and should have priority before the part-timers' (which most of the people are), and then complaining about having to work 5-straight days.   Doesn't do much good to point out that from a supervisor's point of view, she (the supervisor) has to be fair in allocating who gets to work on Sunday's, and when it comes to a straight 5-day week, Ah, that's what I used to do without complaint. Sure I had a desk job but......

Being a bit self--centered and a glass half empty person is not a fun thing.

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Wife had her birthday, which bycoincidence is the day after mine, and a couple of days before, there was a card for her in the mail, signed as it turned out, by the HR and administrative staff at the store she works at. A nice touch to be sure, but as is often the case,  my wife felt she had to perform the rite of 御返し to set the world right, at least for her.

So she busted ass preparing sabayon pastries, one each for the persons who signed the card, meaning me going out buying rum and liqueur and other ingredients, and having to listen/watch her whip herself into yet another frantic frenzy.

Well turns out when she went finalize her rite of 御返し, there was nobody at home so to speak and she had to divvy up the goodies to others.

Now having lived in Japan as long as I have, I understand 御返し, and the practical /cultural reasons for doing so.  But this is the U.S., where I see the rules as being different, and even if we were still living in Japan, I think she has always taken the need for御返し a bit too far.

Sure its always a nice thing to reciprocate a favor done on your behalf, no matter which culture you live in.  But it doesn't have to be done immediately nor for every single nice/thoughtful act nor should it be treated as a moral milestone.  To me, a simple 'Thanks' is sufficient and perhaps later on if the opportunity  presents itself, to do the other person a good turn, or if not to do someone else a good turn.

 Frankly I am glad wife was not able to do her御返, as it stood a good chance of being misunderstood by others in the store of　ごますり.

As a desperate measure to get son out of the house and away from his Xbox/on-line gaming, I relented and agreed to take him out once  again for a day of paintballing, which again left me with the challenge of what to do with myself for the day.

The day turned out to be a series of snapshots as it were starting with,

One of the more bizarre/inscrutable bumpers stickers I've seen of late which read,

Take Your Revenge!

Shit on a Pigeon!

 Wish I had had a camera.

Winding up in Charles Town, W Va out of curiosity as it advertizes the racing and casinos it has.  Did not go there for that, I'm a poor gambler and besides the 'ambience' of the casinos I've been in is a far cry from anything cooked up in a James Bond film.

Did learn though that Charles Town W Va is where the abolitionist John Brown was tried and convicted of treason (the courthouse stills stands) and a few blocks away, now enclosed within someone's yard,  is the site of his execution  ( creeeeepy).

Noting the gray-bearded good ole boy,sporting a day-glo orange headscarf  leaning on the fence in front of his modest home, cigarette dangling from his fingers,  staring vacantly as the cars drove by,  was still there on the way back from Charles Town.  

A bittersweet conversation is a small Japanese woman originally from Okinawa,  old enough to be my mother-in-law, working the counter at a MacDonald's in a small town  west of Leesburg.  Perhaps I read too much into it, but I'm guessing she is now a widow and she's got to work to support herself. But then perhaps she just wants some walking money for herself.

Having a  cup of coffee at a shop in Leesburg and working on the WaPo crossword.  In a bit, a family of four came in and the 2 girls, all dressed up for Sunday, one maybe seven and the other maybe 3, plopped down on the couch next to where I sat started sipping their drinks and after 5 minutes or so, big sister let out a belch worthy of any boy her age.

Parents of course clucked their surprise, shock and disapproval.  I looked over, caught the girl's eye and smiled ( thought it was cute), then I saw the parents were looking at me; they were not amused. Oh well.

Learned from another customer  that while communisism may be over, the Cold War isn't as he  was complaining that despite the Russian language abilities (native speaker) of his friend/girlfriend/wife, she cannot get security clearance e for a government job.

Meeting son back at paintball felid, and before I can ask how the day went, he tells me the bad news, that he fell waist-deep in water while fording a stream and the other cell phone is now full of water.  I also get advice from others around me, to stick the cell phone in the freezer to dry it out (understand the concept dude, but doesn't water first expand as it freezes) , put it in the fridge to accomplish the same thing, or bury said cell phone is unwanted rice (that I tried an am awaiting the results).

And now its the next morning and I am quietly celebrating growing another year older with coffee and cinnamon waffles.

It's going to be a hot one today, and since there really wasn't anything else hanging in the closet to put on, grabbed one of the 'notorious' Hawaiian shirts I own, put it on and went downstairs where wife was waiting for me to take her to work.

One look and:

 あのシャツで店に入って来ないでよ！えりもくしゃくしゃだし！

Unfortunately for her, I am not about to 'dress' my age, nor am I overly conderned about what a complete stranger may think about what I've got on.

Son asked yesterday about getting his long hair completely shaved off.  Told him to think about that AFTER senior photos are taken.

Think its going to be a long summer if he doesn't get a job.

Son is, and so far, unsuccessfully, seeking employment. Not just for the summer but for his senior year.  Have made some suggestions, he's applied and heard nada.

I've had good experience as a customer with one semi-national coffee chain (which I prefer over the other, more well known national/international chain) and as there are 3 stores within decent commuting distance from home, had him apply.  Then asked him to follow up but he's not gotten calls back and in one case he was told by the store manager, his name wasn't even on the list of those who had applied.  He goes back on-line to reapply and the system tells him his application is in the works, 'so what do I do now, dad?'

So I call corporate, am eventually connected to a HR person, leave a message and surprise of surprises I am called back, explain my son's situation and am told son will be contacted the next day to sort things out.  Son was called and he was told then would make sure his application would be sent to the stores he's applied to.

Fantastic!  Both of us could have easily been blown off, but these guys followed up.  Son may not end up getting a job with them, but at least he's going to get a fair shake now.

 Son is looking and looking and looking for a job as he's got things on his shopping list (a car) that I am not in a position to provide.  In the meantime he's continuing an internship with the local pro lacrosse team and yesterday he went to help out again for a home game.

A bit different from last year, the home stadium is not at George Mason University, a maybe 20 minute drive from home, but now  at Navy Stadium 100 miles away (round trip) at Annapolis, MD.

Okay, I can still get him there as I am still unemployed and hell, since I am going that far, might as well stay a bit and make myself useful.  Now there is set up in the morning, then afternoon siesta, then the game in the evening and then clean up, take down afterwards, all ending at about 11:30; a long day anyway you cut it and all outside.

Son was not too pleased at the idea of me being there to 'embarrass' him. I was told the labor involved was way beyond me and I could have a heart attack.  Warning from son in mind, I drove him there and stayed don till noon, leaving to pick wife up at work back in Va.

The work was indeed 重労働 and while there was a breeze, Navy Stadium is an enclosed deep narrow bowl with not much air circulation.  So lots of heavy lifting, but I also thought they could have worked smarter.  Came home after picking the wife up, very tired and had to nap for a couple of hours.

Came back late at night to pick son up and was amazed at the volume of traffic coming and returning, don't these people have homes of their own?  Was told they had a good crowd, but the home team had their butts handed to them (19-9).

Son was not happy about me not letting him have part of a beer on the ride back home that  I consumed and then threw away. I explained to him, late Friday/early Saturday morning, underage, open container in a car, being stopped by a cop- not a good idea. Besides he can do waaaay better than Bud Lite (ugh!)

But he did all this without much complaint. so here I am the next day, with some very sore muscles and some new-found respect for what son is capable of.

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Was all set to leave the house to meet wife at the airport this evening; made a final check  on-line to make certain the plane was in the air, it was.

Then about 15 minutes later, the phone rings and the caller ID  indicates its from a pay phone ?????? Pick up and it's the wife calling me to tell me she missed her connecting flight to Dulles.  Okay, why?  Turns out she was detained at Customs as she had (gasp!!) a packet of Japanese cucumber seeds and was told she either had to go to court (in the Midwest) or pay a fine, which was $700.  She paid the fine with the credit card.  She thinks she was tripped up and the airport was one she/we don't normally pass through on our way back here.

Oh the horrors that would await the U.S. from a packet of Japanese cucumber seeds!  Wonder where the line is between actually protecting U.S. citizens and a shakedown.

Was verbally gnashing the teeth, as particularly now $700 out the window is something we cannot afford, when son says, "Dad, it's not going to get any better by continuing to bitch like that"   Humbling being told that by a teenager.

Still,  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Buy the Sunday WaPo regularly, partly for the comics that son & I enjoy, partly because compared to the other newspaper here, it has far better local news coverage, and the Sunday crossword.

Was stuck yesterday on a 4-letter word for 'Junker', and I kept thinking of what could go in the space for Junker as in Prussian Junker.  Turns out the clue was not Junker as in Prussian Junker but Junker as in crappy car =heap.

Sometime you gotta wonder.

Shootings in DC are unfortunately, not than uncommon. They occur mostly in the sections beyond the center of the district away from the tourists.  The shooting the day before yesterday at the Holocaust Museum was an exception.

Local news stations are still carrying this story as one of the lead stores.  In this morning's news it was noted the museum wil reopen and the doors of the museum which had bullet holes in them were now replaced.  Personally I believe these doors should have been left as they are, sealed against the elements of course but kept there as a reminder and a means to accentuate the message of the museum. The Holocaust Museum you see,  is not a place one takes in to feel uplifted or to marvel, as other public places in DC are designed to. 

And of the gunman, an 88 year old man who ought to have been enjoying what is left of his life, spoiling his grandchildren, grand nieces, nephews etc?  What he did was beyond disgusting.  In the same breath however, I would say he is a product of an increasing intolerant and polarized social-political environment, both right and left.

News programs all of them, are blatantly tailored to a selective audience and instead of letting in fresh air, simply reinforce and stoke preconceptions and intellectual rigidity.  News and commentary, rather than thought provoking is more like modern day bear-baiting with ratings as the prize. Political blogs on both sides are even more self-serving and intellectually bereft.

I see this manifested on a personal level too.  On my Facebook page, I have as a friend a woman I grew up with. An otherwise good person, but since the election of the current occupant of the WH, I see almost daily postings-rants about the President and the direction he is taking.  I too did not vote for him, have grave reservations about the consequences of what has happened already and what is under consideration, and would like to see him 'one and done in 2012' but throwing intellectual tantrums is not constructive.

Think the zealots on both sides of the divide need a long 'time out' to take a deep intellectual breath and to 'get a life'.  Otherwise one could find oneself like the gunman, a life devoid of everything else but ideology and hatred.

As the lyrics from a Beatle's song go, "Life goes on within you and without you."